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10 Commandments of Dogging

 

  1. Thou shalt wear thine rubbers. Thou shalt adorn thine male organs with the finest sheaths of latex for the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy.
     
  2. Thou shalt not fornicate before innocents. Keep thine revelries from the eyes of children and unsuspecting passersby, and refrain from disturbing the peace and attracting attention.
     
  3. Thou shalt not block thine neighbor's view. Take care thou dost not obscure the sight of thy fellow dogger, and yield the right of way to them who arrived before you.
     
  4. Thou shalt look with thine eyes, not with thine hands, until invited. Layest not thine hands upon a person without their explicit verbal permission.
     
  5. Heed the sanctity of a woman's right to refuse. What part of "No" dost thou not understand, thou pushy bastard?
     
  6. Honour thy neighbor's anonymity. Thou shalt not expose, blackmail, or otherwise compromise the privacy of thine fellow doggers.
     
  7. Thou shalt not destroy public property nor trespass upon private property. The country parks, beauty spots, lovers' lanes and car parks of  the land shall not be desecrated through vandalism or carelessness.
     
  8. Thou shalt covet thy neighbour's wife. Thou shalt swing and make merry with thine own mate and all other consenting parties.
     
  9. Thou shalt clean up after thine own self. Before thou departest, gather unto thee all of thine used condoms, torn wrappers, discarded tissues and other rubbish, and dispose of them in a bin.
     
  10. Thou shalt drive safely and honor the laws, both while motoring and parking. Thou shalt not engage in reckless behaviour while in a moving vehicle, and thou shall park legally and engage the parking brake when at rest.

 

 

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